Part 13: 13 - The Freezing Way

13 - The Freezing Way



Happy now?

For now. No telling what I'll do next though.

Fox! Peppy told me you just requisitioned 12 bunker buster warheads! What the hell did you do?

_{I'mma have rabbit stew tonight...} I, er, was just attempting a low-tech solution to the problem. I thought that maybe I could...push the asteroids back into the planet, I guess?

Hmm. Excellent thinking, Fox! Give me an update on your progress later!

Uh, yes sir.



Heheheh.

What the hell?

I left you a little surprise in there.

Gross. Also, you're still riding in there when we go to the next asteroid.



Look, not one of you schmucks is Tom Sawyer and you will never convince me that this was in any way enjoyable.

No! You gots to help us!

Amazing, you're actually making less sense.

He wants you to help him.

He should've said so, then.

I did!



We be scared of the dark.

The grammar and brains of a child. How are you the only group of dinosaurs to go unenslaved? For fuck's sake, stop crying, it's the middle of the day.

Don't forget about the SpellStone, Fox. You have to return it to the Force Point Temple.

Look, when you're stuck in a room with a bunch of crying babies, what do you do? Leave them alone to cry or shake the shit out of them first so they shut up?



[Before that though, I went to check on the mystery stash again, and the entrance was indeed under the waterfall. I can't shake the feeling that this is something I found at one point back when I first got the game, but had long since forgotten.]

[Oh yeah, and collecting that SpellStone gave us a fourth heart. Woo. It does benefit the Arwing, but I don't think I've ever died in the flying sections. Failed to get enough gold rings, yes; died, no.



[This is what we need to shut the ThornTails up. This is a bit like the frost weed minigame, but a bit stupider. I mean, honestly, burning bushes in a fucking tree? God, you're really slipping if you'll show up in a Star Fox game for publicity. Moses would be ashamed.]



Star Fox Adventures 2: Bush Beater

Couldn't be worse than my other sequels.



[So we quickly run around like a retard, burning ourselves repeatedly to collect three fire weeds.]



[After we've done that we visit the three beacon locations...]



[...place a Fire Weed...]



[...tell Tricky to set them on fire...]

Ah, you little twit! Don't set me on fire!

Eheheheh.

[...and the ThornTails give us this:]



[So we're off to Moon Mountain Pass.]



[First, though, Rare needs to be a dick. Remember how I mentioned that one of these switch-gate areas could kill the player? This is the one.]



[Not only can you miss the moving platforms and fall to your death, if you run out of...oxygen, I guess, you lose health. You have to be a bit slow to let that happen, but it's still a dick move as far as mechanisms that allow the game to load go.]



[This is Moon Mountain Pass. For right now it's just a transitionary point to Volcano Force Point Temple.]



Oh no.



[It's also the Evil Ramp Boss' retarded little brother. Those two SharpClaw cause a pair of machines to spew out a million barrels. The flaw, of course, is that all barrels will follow a linear path, and since this isn't on a curving ramp with no handrails and I'm not carrying a live explosive it's kind of a joke.]



[We use that key we just got to open the doors and head in and kill the shit out of those dudes.]



[Which opens the Life Force Door up ahead.



[Past the barrier we find timed jumping puzzles!]



[And more switchgate areas!



[And of course, unkillable enemies. In the back of the room you can see a number of grates, but we won't be going there until after I get rid of this SpellStone.]



They don't give up, do they?

Don't forget: Rare made Donkey Kong Country.



[A few chasms, fire bats, and rock walls later and we've arrived at Volcano Force Point Temple.]



Done already?

Don't you wish.



[In this area we are introduced to a new gimmick: coloured flames. These fire rotate between red, green, and blue. If you stand in the right position you can line them up with a coloured orb. Just wait for the fire to be the same colour as the orb and fire a shot through the flame and...]



[Your shot takes on that colour before it hits the orb. Hitting both orbs in this area will remove some bars across the doorway. That allows us to hold up the SpellStone again and get us inside the temple proper.]



[The screenshot looks like it would be fun, but they all line up to get shot/beaten, so it loses some of its flair.]



[Next up we've got some ovens for Tricky to light up. Doing so causes platforms up above to slide out. They slide in occasionally, but it's rather rare, so it's kind of the opposite of what you'd expect from a timed platform. Amusingly enough, if I'm not paying attention it's more likely to fuck me up.]



[Head upstairs, around a series of jumping puzzles and flame jets and you arrive at a Staff Shrine.]

What stupid shit are you going to put in this shrine?

Nothing.

Bullshit.



See? It's not a shrine at all, it's a shine!

_{I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration...}



So, what did you get?

...

Uh, Fox?

My mind affects my reality.

What?

Nothing. It's an ice blast or something.



Wait, you mean you actually got a F.L.U.D.D. from the Shine Shrine?

...

[And that's that. There are four red torches around this chamber you need to blow out. There are also some blue ones in the preceeding room that you can blow out, but will immediately light back up, so there's no real purpose.]




[After blowing all the red flames out we are given access to an elevator that heads deeper into the Temple...]